I am a Military wife. My husband and I actually met when we were both stationed in Hawaii in the Army. A lot has happened since then. I am no longer in the Army, for reasons to be discussed at a later date and time and my husband is now full time with a National Guard unit; it’s all the benefits of Active Duty without having to move every handful of years.
We met way back in December of 2002. We fell in love pretty much immediately and were married in April of 2003. We did move fast, but we knew it was right and certain circumstances of the time made it something we felt we had to do when we did.
He was infantry. They do a lot of training in the infantry. That’s really pretty much all they do. When you are infantry, it is hard to do your job, learn your job, be effective at your job unless you are getting down and dirty. So, from the beginning of our relationship, he was gone A LOT.
It was usually just a week or two at a time. But, in May, his company got a special assignment to go to West Point, New York (we were in Hawaii) to train Cadets. It was a three month assignment. One month after we got married. No fun.
During that time, though, I had to go back home to Chicago to take care of some things. My mom had been taking care of my daughter for me until the Army would let me have her. Now I could have her, so I was going home to get her while my husband was gone. I don’t know if it helped the time pass or made it take longer. It was, all the way around, a rough three months. A LOT of things happened to me during that time.
Well, we got back to Hawaii and it was just the three of us. The week or two gone at a time still continued, but, we decided to add to our family. In September, we found out we were pregnant. In October, we found out he was deploying to Afghanistan in April/May. In November, he had a 3 week field problem that got interrupted by his Grandpa’s funeral. It was a rough time for us.
On April 21st, we celebrated our first anniversary. On April 26th, I left Hawaii to go back home where I would have some help. On May 2nd, he left for Afghanistan. On May 17th, I had our baby.
That was a rough year. The Family Readiness Group, FRG, forgot to call me to tell me a change of schedule when they were getting back and I missed the ceremony. I was back in Hawaii for it, but they didn’t tell me they moved the time up by two hours. I didn’t find out until the ceremony was over and my husband called me wondering where I was. It was the worst feeling ever and I can’t imagine how he felt sitting there waiting for me all by himself after everyone else left with their families.
Needless to say, I haven’t been able to be involved with any of the FRGs ever since. That left quite the bad taste in my mouth.
Since we’ve been in Colorado, he’ll generally have something to do, somewhere to go 2-3 times per year. Not too much; 4-6 weeks here, 1-3 weeks there, a couple of days here. For a while, it made me angry. When he was done in Hawaii, we had agreed that he was going to get out and we were going to put that life behind us. When he went to sign his paperwork, they talked him into joining the Guard; one weekend a month, two weeks a year.
I hated it. I wanted to be done with him leaving. We were in a new place, no friends yet, no family, I couldn’t depend on the FRG. It’s hard. But, he was unhappy in his civilian job. He hated that. The Army was who he was. He was able to get a full time job with the unit and he was immediately happier. But, that also meant more time away.
2-3 times per year hasn’t been the end of the world. We still have no family out here and I still can’t bring myself to try to be more involved with the FRG, but, now we know people and we know the area and I have things to do. It makes it easier, not ideal, but easier.
I am very happy that he stayed in and was able to find a full time job that made him happy. I won’t lie, it’s made me jealous a couple of times because I know what I am supposed to be doing as well. Things didn’t turn out for me how I hoped so now I support the man that supported me when I needed it most.
I sit here and think about all of this as he is at his 1st SGT school for 3 weeks right now. It’s been about a week so far. I still don’t like it. I do get lonely. We talk when we can. But, how can I not be happy for him as he progresses in his career, a career that we can be so proud of, a career I can say I supported him through?
It’s been a rough road, sometimes were tougher than others. We always had each other though. We knew from the minute we met that we could get each other through anything. We’ve been through some real hard times, we’ve had very little help through some of those times. We are a thousand miles away from home. We are thousands of miles away from where we met and where we fell in love. We are where life took us, together.
And we are still together. Twelve and a half years later, we are still happily married, still looking at forever, still making plans for when we retire and when the kids are out of the house. We’re not physically together right now, and that part never really gets easy, but we always know we have each other, no matter where we are in the world, and that’s the kind of love that we all need.
We met way back in December of 2002. We fell in love pretty much immediately and were married in April of 2003. We did move fast, but we knew it was right and certain circumstances of the time made it something we felt we had to do when we did.
He was infantry. They do a lot of training in the infantry. That’s really pretty much all they do. When you are infantry, it is hard to do your job, learn your job, be effective at your job unless you are getting down and dirty. So, from the beginning of our relationship, he was gone A LOT.
It was usually just a week or two at a time. But, in May, his company got a special assignment to go to West Point, New York (we were in Hawaii) to train Cadets. It was a three month assignment. One month after we got married. No fun.
During that time, though, I had to go back home to Chicago to take care of some things. My mom had been taking care of my daughter for me until the Army would let me have her. Now I could have her, so I was going home to get her while my husband was gone. I don’t know if it helped the time pass or made it take longer. It was, all the way around, a rough three months. A LOT of things happened to me during that time.
Well, we got back to Hawaii and it was just the three of us. The week or two gone at a time still continued, but, we decided to add to our family. In September, we found out we were pregnant. In October, we found out he was deploying to Afghanistan in April/May. In November, he had a 3 week field problem that got interrupted by his Grandpa’s funeral. It was a rough time for us.
On April 21st, we celebrated our first anniversary. On April 26th, I left Hawaii to go back home where I would have some help. On May 2nd, he left for Afghanistan. On May 17th, I had our baby.
That was a rough year. The Family Readiness Group, FRG, forgot to call me to tell me a change of schedule when they were getting back and I missed the ceremony. I was back in Hawaii for it, but they didn’t tell me they moved the time up by two hours. I didn’t find out until the ceremony was over and my husband called me wondering where I was. It was the worst feeling ever and I can’t imagine how he felt sitting there waiting for me all by himself after everyone else left with their families.
Needless to say, I haven’t been able to be involved with any of the FRGs ever since. That left quite the bad taste in my mouth.
Since we’ve been in Colorado, he’ll generally have something to do, somewhere to go 2-3 times per year. Not too much; 4-6 weeks here, 1-3 weeks there, a couple of days here. For a while, it made me angry. When he was done in Hawaii, we had agreed that he was going to get out and we were going to put that life behind us. When he went to sign his paperwork, they talked him into joining the Guard; one weekend a month, two weeks a year.
I hated it. I wanted to be done with him leaving. We were in a new place, no friends yet, no family, I couldn’t depend on the FRG. It’s hard. But, he was unhappy in his civilian job. He hated that. The Army was who he was. He was able to get a full time job with the unit and he was immediately happier. But, that also meant more time away.
2-3 times per year hasn’t been the end of the world. We still have no family out here and I still can’t bring myself to try to be more involved with the FRG, but, now we know people and we know the area and I have things to do. It makes it easier, not ideal, but easier.
I am very happy that he stayed in and was able to find a full time job that made him happy. I won’t lie, it’s made me jealous a couple of times because I know what I am supposed to be doing as well. Things didn’t turn out for me how I hoped so now I support the man that supported me when I needed it most.
I sit here and think about all of this as he is at his 1st SGT school for 3 weeks right now. It’s been about a week so far. I still don’t like it. I do get lonely. We talk when we can. But, how can I not be happy for him as he progresses in his career, a career that we can be so proud of, a career I can say I supported him through?
It’s been a rough road, sometimes were tougher than others. We always had each other though. We knew from the minute we met that we could get each other through anything. We’ve been through some real hard times, we’ve had very little help through some of those times. We are a thousand miles away from home. We are thousands of miles away from where we met and where we fell in love. We are where life took us, together.
And we are still together. Twelve and a half years later, we are still happily married, still looking at forever, still making plans for when we retire and when the kids are out of the house. We’re not physically together right now, and that part never really gets easy, but we always know we have each other, no matter where we are in the world, and that’s the kind of love that we all need.