And I'm still reorganizing. I've got a ton of ideas. I just have to figure out how I want to put them into play. I'm going to be better than ever! I just need another couple days to get it right.
9,000 words today on my book. I finally was able to make some progress. when I can get going, I really get going. Hopefully I can stay on track now.
And I'm still reorganizing. I've got a ton of ideas. I just have to figure out how I want to put them into play. I'm going to be better than ever! I just need another couple days to get it right.
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So, I was going through my daily e-mails and I get a ton of "read me" e-mails. I clicked on one and the blurb of the book intrigued me so I clicked to look further. The blurb actually turned into a full chapter and a half of the book and I got stuck reading the whole thing. Which isn't good because it's not my reading time! But, given that, I was so intrigued that I thought I would pass it along. It was funny, real, authentic, humorous; it was life and that is what kept me drawn in. It did have a few religious references, which isn't generally my cup of tea, but beyond that, it was definitely worth the read and I will have to add it to my "to be read" list for sure.
So, for your enjoyment: http://www.bookdaily.com/book/5231568 An Extension
Growing up, it was my mom, sister and me. Just us three girls. My dad left when I was about 8, well, I say he left, but my parents got divorced when I was about 8. I think it was when I was 10 that I stopped seeing him and he didn’t care enough to fight any harder. So it was just the three of us. As I got older, my mom and I grew farther and farther apart while her and my sister grew closer and closer together. My sister and I grew farther and farther apart as time went on as well. When I was finally able to me on my own, after babies and a marriage and a deployment, their relationship with me was pretty much over, it seemed. My book, “the loss of A MOTHER’s loss” details how we got to that point. But, when my mom passed and I went back home to say goodbye, when I saw my sister, I thought our relationship would be repaired. I thought such a tragic event that affected us both greatly, would bring us back together. Really, I thought it had to. During my week there, I started feeling like I was wrong. She didn’t want to let me in on anything. Not on decisions, not even on what was actually happening, not in just being together, having dinner or breakfast or even just lunch together. Again, I’m not going to get into all the detail right now, my book covers that, but, when I came back to my family after the funeral, I still hoped maybe there was a chance. I lost my mom without being able to reconcile, I really thought maybe that meant it was something that had to happen to bring my sister and me back together. We should be sisters, we are sisters. For about a month, I would ask her what was going on, what she needed me to do, what she wanted me to do. I would ask for updates on the things she said were happening. Most of the time the response I would get was something along the lines of “I’ve got it” or “I just need your social” or “What’s your e-mail again?”. I rarely got an update without asking for one. And she never told me some things that I should have helped make a decision in so that was still weighing on me as well. As she was cleaning out the house, she never once thought to ask me about anything she was getting rid of or anything that was mine or anything that I might want. Not until I said “hey, what are you doing with everything”. She did ask then and I told her I didn’t even know what was there anymore and that was the end of that conversation. Still didn’t ask about anything specific until she found my Letterman Jacket from when I was in high school. She did ask if I wanted that. I said yes. She asked me how I could get it. I didn’t respond. I thought that was an obvious answer. Especially since her husband works for his dad at a shipping company. Hmmmm….how can you get this? I even found out later that my husband, who knew I was quite upset about some things, asked her himself if she could send some things and said he would pay all shipping costs. She never responded to him. Anyways, I essentially gave up on asking questions and offering help at that point. She never seemed to want to let me help. She would never tell me fully what was going on. When she did, it was just a brief response. I realized she really didn’t know how she could get me something. I gave up. I had been hurt too many times before to continue to put myself in that position. I didn’t want it anymore. I didn’t see the purpose in trying anymore when I wasn’t getting anywhere and she very obviously by that point didn’t care. That is all essentially where my book leaves off. It was published about a month after our last communication. Now, about a month ago, or 3 months after our last communication, I get a text from her. She needed my e-mail again. She had e-mailed me before so I don’t know why she didn’t have it and not 5 minutes later I got another text saying “ASAP”. I gave her my e-mail and that was the end of the conversation. After that, I got an e-mail from the lawyer because the house had been sold. She didn’t have the decency to tell me that herself, I got to find out from the lawyer. The next day, I get another text from her. It is a nice long text about how she knows I won’t care but she’s struggling and has done this and done that and paid for this and paid for that; about how it’s unfair that her big sister isn’t helping her and on and on telling me how horrible I am. I’m usually a very nice person. I have a hard time being mean to people, overall. But I could not believe she came at me like that. I told her that I had offered numerous times to help and she would never tell me what she needed from me. Now, she started everything before I had the opportunity. She just dove right into all of it based on what everyone else was telling her to do. So she had it all started so any help I could give her, I had to go through her first. All I needed was her to let me know. So, I tried explaining that I offered numerous times to help her and she kept telling me she had it under control. I told her I didn’t appreciate her letting me know that she knew I wouldn’t care and how she came at me like that. I told her if she needed help, to let me know what she needs done, what she wants done but to ask instead of coming at me in an accusatory fashion. That started a big long back and forth. I was in complete disbelief. The conversation ended with me telling her if she needed help, she was going to have to be a little more forth-coming about it. She didn’t respond. It’s been a month and her coming at me like that, she still hasn’t asked for anything. She apparently just needed someone to yell at. I found out about a week later (not from her) that was 12 weeks pregnant. Hormones I guess. Better take it out on someone 1,200 miles away, right. Of course, now I know I was wrong in my thinking that this would bring us closer together. It seems, unfortunately, that it is actually pulling us farther apart. Such is life, I suppose. Maybe I am the one in the wrong. I really don’t know what I was supposed to do. The only thing I can think of that I could have possibly done different was ask more what she wanted/needed from me. But I keep following that thought up with how many times should I have had to ask. Especially when she didn’t even tell me we were cremating her or ya know, tell me where the ashes were going when all was said and done. I have no idea. None. She schedule the service for when I told her my flight was because nobody else told her when theirs were so she figured that time would be best for everyone else. Such is life. Such is life. I’ll live a long time wondering what I did wrong, whether in that specific instance or before that to make her act like that towards me all around. I’m sure there’s something I missed sometime, somewhere. Maybe not. I’m just a person though. A call that can change your life forever can come at any moment. I experienced that when my sister, who I had not spoken to in a very long time, called to give me the news of my mom’s passing. My mom and I had been estranged for years. We had an off again, on again relationship for a long time before it finally was just over. “the loss of A MOTHER’s loss” delves into all the things that got my mom and I to the point we were, all the way from her bitter divorce to the last time I saw her. It answers the question that people have asked for so long, what happened? After attending her funeral and seeing people I have not seen in years and being asked the questions again, I decided it was finally time to get it all out in the open. This is my personal journey from receiving that phone call, to going back home for the first time in a very long time, to seeing people I have not seen in a very long time, to saying goodbye. Throughout the days I was back home, where I grew up, the book takes “flash backs” describing the events that happened while I was growing up and after I left home to be on my own to explain how my mom and I got to the point we were. It is a hard truth knowing there is no more time for reconciliation, no more time to have a mother. It is even harder feeling as if people do not believe you should be hurting. And, if I haven't mentioned it yet - my first book, "the loss of A MOTHER's loss" is free for Kindle today and tomorrow. Download and enjoy! And, if you get a chance, a review is the best gift you can give an author! Good Afternoon anyone deciding to read this today!
I just wanted to let you all know, my book will be free as an e-book on Amazon Thursday, August 13, 2015 and Friday, August 14, 2015. "the loss of A MOTHER"s loss" was my attempt to sort through my feelings of losing my mother after a rocky relationship for most of my life. It details the struggles my mom and I faced from the time I was a child through the years of me starting my own family. The news of her passing hit hard and has not become any less confusing for me as time has gone on. http://www.amazon.com/loss-MOTHERs-Jennifer-Shriver-ebook/dp/B00Y7I7L4O/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1439410306&sr=8-1 Thank you! I just wanted to share an article I read today because it resonates with me completely. I wrote a book and I reread it and edited it and found the perfect cover page and wrote multiple summaries of it for different sites and covers and everything. I wrote and rewrote and changed things every day. I wrote it because I wanted to, because I needed to; because I write. I published it because that was the next step in the process. I marketed it because, again, that was the next step in the process. It hasn't sold well. I've questioned myself many times since then. Even while working on other projects. I stop and start wondering if it is worth it. And then I remember, I ultimately do it because I enjoy doing it. I don't actually do it to sell anything, that's just a bonus if it ever comes to be. Every once in a while, my head will run wild with very high hopes seeing the possibilities, every once in a while, my mind will say there is no point in continuing to write when it is for naught, but most of the time, I'm in between. I will continue to write for me and if someday, somehow people decide they want to hear what I have to say, they are more than welcome to.
I am just a person with dreams. I dream large. I dream often. I dream in many different directions. My dreams are almost too many to count. Some I still will accomplish, others will pass me by. My mind will take me from one extreme to another as I set about accomplishing things, one at a time. I'll try and keep it centered but if I try too hard, I'll lose some of me. Anyways, here is the article I read that hit right on, for me at least. If anyone would like to read it....... https://medium.com/@pierzy/what-happens-when-virtually-no-one-buys-your-book-4c23d6071026 And, if you were thinking about helping me get one step closer to one of my many dreams...my book would love a read; http://www.amazon.com/loss-MOTHERs-Jennifer-Shriver/dp/1512363588/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1437495651&sr=8-3&keywords=the+loss+of+a+mother%27s+loss |
"the loss of A MOTHER's loss" by Jennifer Shriver now on Amazon
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